No matter how many times I watch this video I get chills. Fleassy Malay has found the words, the voice, and even the facial expressions that reach into my soul and grip my core. It was when I finally claimed back that no as mine that my life started to piece together. I was a shell of a human being, merely staying alive to care for my son, but I was not living. I couldn’t do what my family, my peers, everyone in my life told me I should do – and my whole life that’s all I’ve done. I’d never said NO. I’d come up with excuses if it was something I really didn’t want to do but never said no.
You see words, they have meaning. I’d convince myself that what I was doing was the right thing because my parents/teachers/peers said it was. I thought they would only accept me, approve of me if I did what they said. But when I hit bottom and had no hands reaching down to try to help me up, I was done listening to the words of others. I decided it was time to give my own words power.
Becoming a witch meant finding the power that was laying quietly in my mind, the energy slowly trickling through my body undetected. It was not easy – the discipline, the research, the exercises. But by the Gods, it was worth it!
Through the hubble and the bubble and the toil and the trouble we grow stronger…
As I learned to cast a circle, how to make charms and enchantments, wards and wands, my soul grew stronger. My life got better. In the past year, I have reached a level of happiness I have never known before. Even as a child I always felt like there was a hole in my heart, my soul. I felt like something was missing from my life and to make it worse I didn’t know what it was that I was missing! I vividly remember being 4 years old, laying in bed and feeling that pain – It made me cry so hard my mother came in. I told her the first lie in my living memory when she came in. She obviously asked why I was crying. I told her I missed my uncle – which is really random because he lived across the country. But that memory stuck with me because I lied to my mother. At 4 years old I knew that I couldn’t just tell her I was crying because I felt like a wasn’t a whole person, that I was missing something, a part of myself. How I knew that I don’t know, and randomly just knowing something was another thing that stayed with me since that night. (Claircognizance – a very odd and at the same time freakin’ awesome ability to have.)
So now we cast spells with our mouths, pieces of our hearts spill out. It is incredible…
I have finally found that missing link, filled that hole within my soul. Now my passions are all the fiercer, my will all the stronger. I have entered the fire, I have risen from the ashes. I am a Witch and I have learned to say NO! I refuse to allow anyone to tell me what to do, I will no longer listen to “you should…”. You see words, they carry meaning – they are powerful, so powerful spells can be simply words spoken aloud. I refuse to be affected by the words of others- I have broken the curse that caused me to be filled with dread and misery whenever I so much as mildly disappointed anyone. I have freed myself from the enchantment that caused me to just lay down and let people walk all over me, allow people – family members even- to put me down. If I am insulted I say something. If someone asks too much of me, I say something. I have reclaimed that no as Mine!
Fleassy Malay is an Australian poet, inspirational speaker, feminist, and an artist with words. I found her WITCHES performance originally on Uplift, and have followed her on social media since. I can’t emphasize enough how talented she is! Just in case it’s not obvious when I italicized words above it was because they were from her poem Witches. I’m not sure how to properly cite that, and I’m too tired to figure it out. So I’m using this method lol. If you were as moved as I by her performance check out her website.